Marriage

When Chicago Bears’ Cody Parkey’s field goal kick failed to win the wild card playoff game a few years ago, fans didn’t seem to care that he had scored 9 of the 15 points to bring them to an almost win.Erupting with disdain, fans turned on Parkey, focusing entirely on his failed field goal along with drudging up past missed kicks in his career.Likewise in marriage, couples often keep score of a spouse’s missteps, tallying up past failures that fuel explosive reactions to current mistakes.Who’s Keeping Score Anyways?Often score-keeping spouses justify keeping track of their spouse’s wrongdoings because of past hurts, wounds, and disappointments they’ve endured in the relationship.Even if a husband or wife manages to score points in their relationship efforts, it only takes one major mess up to nullify all their previous successes and have a spouse focus predominantly on their failures.Consequently a wounded spouse often believes they are in the right in adding up points. But keeping score can cause irreparable damage to a marriage.Here are 10 reasons why keeping score is so dangerous for a marriage.Photo Credit: ©GettyImages/fizkes

It doesn’t really matter why you got married. What matters is that you did.

The same passion and love that caused the birth of your children can be unceremoniously extinguished by the presence of those same children!

It’s important to know that getting in the habit of affirming and encouraging verbal support can help your husband feel loved and appreciated in new and transformative ways. These words help him feel understood and acknowledged on a deep level.

50-50 sounds ideal if we lived in an ideal world. 100-100 is great advice but not very practical for the long haul. And what are we exactly supposed to add up to 100%? That day? That month? That season? Should marriage be 50-50 is the wrong question. We should be asking, what kind of marriage do we want to have?

My husband hugged me and told me to go and seek rest. As I write this, he is currently taking care of the children for the weekend. He is handling all the housework, the chores, and the responsibilities. And he is essentially taking care of me.

I would venture to guess that most married couples can identify with escape, business meeting and maintenance dates in their relationship. But it is essential to be intentional about creating romantic memories, too.

Take some time today to acknowledge your spouse. If things have felt stressful while you attempt to juggle so much this summer, talk about it. Open communication goes a long way in our relationships. Be honest with each other, express your needs and hear the needs of your spouse.

Through counseling and discussing the covenant of marriage, my husband relearned the depth of God’s love for him and the forgiveness and grace he doesn’t deserve but is freely given.

Let's be honest; it feels nice to be served and waited upon. While tying the knot, we fancy the idea of having our spouses bend over backward to meet our needs. And while it is okay to expect our spouses to serve us, Scripture shows us a more excellent way - serving them."Yet it shall not be so among you, but whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant. And whoever desires to be first among you, let him be your slave, just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." (Mathew 20: 26-28).In our quest to find fulfillment in our marriages, God gives us a secret tool - serving our spouses. Serving means attending to someone's needs above your own. As a wife, the best way to serve your husband is by meeting his needs. But before rolling up your sleeves to help him, it's important to know what really floats his boat. Because you can be knocking yourself out thinking that you are enthusing him while all the while you are irritating him.The best way to know how to serve your husband is by acquainting yourself with his needs which are most likely starkly different from yours. You may not even understand why he fancies the things he does. Serving him may require you to go against your grain. Paul encouraged the Church to esteem others above themselves."Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests but also for the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4).As you serve your husband, you are heeding God's command of putting his interests above yours. You are also sowing good deeds into your marriage, and you will ultimately reap a harvest of a great marriage. Here are five ways in which you can serve your husband.

Perhaps the title of this article is a tad prickly to you because you are aware that the husband is the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the Church (Ephesians 5:23). How can the husband then be expected to serve his wife? Shouldn't it be the other way around? After all, it is common practice in almost all world cultures for leaders to be served and have people at their beck and call.But this is not the case in the kingdom we belong to. Paul asks husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for her (Ephesians 5: 25). Christ's headship saw Him hanging on the cross to salvage His bride, the Church. He also declared that He did not come to be served but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many (Mark 10: 45).If husbands are to emulate Christ as the head of their wives, they must serve their wives. Serving your wife means prioritizing her and attending to her needs above yours. Serving her doesn't diminish your status as the head of your family. On the contrary, it elevates you. Jesus told His disciples that whoever desired to become great should become a servant (Mark 10:43). The biblical way of being lifted is by first crawling down. Here are X ways in which husbands can serve their wives.

Every healthy relationship requires a set of do's and don'ts, and marriage is no exception. Can two walk together unless they are in agreement? (Amos 3:3). Couples must stipulate the limits of the conduct they expect from each other. Boundaries express each partner's core values and encapsulate what they need to feel loved, secure, and respected. Boundaries are not meant to be restrictive.

If God says he is all that we need, why create the bonds and partnership of marriage? If he is supposed to be our comforter, our provider--then why?

God desires marriage to be between two believers; this means a man and a woman who both have placed their faith in Christ and follow Him. It doesn't matter which denomination you are a part of. As long as you are both believers, dating and getting married is okay.

Marriage is a sacred covenant created by God. He created men and women to be committed in their marriage until death do they part. This is not something to be taken lightly. We must be intentional daily to create a thriving marriage that glorifies God.Being a committed spouse means that we don't allow our hearts, minds, or bodies to venture outside of the covenant that we have made.The Bible says in Hebrews 13:4 that marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.Unfortunately, these laws are disregarded at every turn in our current culture. The world wants us to believe we can create our truth about marriage. But God created marriage laws to protect us. He desires for us to have thriving, committed marriages that reflect Him, which means fidelity and solid commitment to each other.Being in a committed marriage is becoming more and more difficult with the amount of pornography that is on display in multiple aspects. Billboards, movies, TV shows, magazines, and of course, the internet. The enemy is having a hay day with the number of inappropriate images infiltrating our minds.This can make it especially difficult to avoid the draw of pornography addiction. It is presented as normal and innocent when in reality, it is destroying lives and destroying families.Pornography addiction is an epidemic in our country. The damaging effects on marriages are devastating and harmful.Here are 4 ways that pornography damages a marriage:

Many of us are living out our own real-world version of Father Knows Best, but in our worlds, it’s Mom Knows Best – and there’s not always a whole lot of room for Dad.

Couples can fight their way into a divorce court, or they can fight their way to a better marriage. We all long for the latter. No one stands at the altar, hoping one day their relationship will fail. Rather, they dream of the increased closeness they’ll experience day by day as God melds their heart to their spouses. We all long for intimacy, to be fully known, our rough edges and all, and yet, to be loved deeply.But how do we get there? What do we do when our rough edges scrape against our spouse’s, and our sinful tendencies crash against theirs?Conflict happens but our marriage doesn’t have to end up a casualty. By following some clear, biblical guidelines, we can fight in such a way that builds, rather than destroys, our marriage.Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/dragana991

I personally love when my husband comes straight to me and gives me a big hug right when he gets home. It reminds me that he is on my team and that I matter to him. Make sure to never leave the house without first stopping for an embrace.

While walking down the aisle, my husband and I had no idea that depression would take such a toll on our marriage again and again. But even depression doesn't get the last word over God's redemption.

As Christians, it is more important than ever to be praying for people's marriages, especially for those who are going through a difficult season. Here are six prayers for a broken marriage.