How to Go From Grumbly to Grateful
Homeschool

Audio By Carbonatix
If we want to see change in our kids, it has to start with us! But where do we start? Let me share some tips with you on how to go from grumbly to grateful.

Sometimes my kids drive me crazy. They are too negative, too cranky, and too quick to point out ways their siblings fall short. They get frustrated with the dog and they don’t often pick up after themselves. Grumble. Grumble. Grumble!
One day, as I was going through a list of all the ways my kids were falling short, God pointed my finger back at me. It’s easy to tell my kids what to do and more difficult to model what needs to be done. Sometimes, I tell my kids to be nice or to be kind, while at the same time having a stinky attitude myself. However, if I’m picky with my kids, yet offer myself grace, I’m being hypocritical.
I am negative, cranky, and I don’t always pick up after myself. And yet, I expect so much more from my kids! Deep down, I know that this parenting style won’t get any of us very far.
It Starts With Me
I have to model kindness and gentleness. I have to clean up after myself. If I want to model gratefulness, I have to pray, asking God to help me and to help them. And I have to be patient with the dog if I want my kids to be, even when she chews up my books! This is how to go from grumbly to grateful.
How Real Change Happens
1. Write It Down
Write down what you feel your kids’ weaknesses or shortcomings are. Then ask yourself, “Which ones are my own?” Seek God’s wisdom and grace. Ask Him to show you the core issues that need to be rooted out and ask Him to help you get rid of them.
2. Give it to God
Realize your change isn’t up to you alone. When you give everything you do to God, then He has the chance to work in your life and in the lives of those around you.
Romans 12:1-2 says, "And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."
3. Confess
Own up to your own shortcomings and discuss them with your kids (when appropriate). Point out areas that you struggle with. Ask your children to pray for you, and offer to pray for them, too. I don’t know why we parents feel like we need to look perfect. It’s obvious to our kids that we’re not, and pretending to be isn’t helping any of us! Showing our kids that we make mistakes and can be humble enough to confess shows them how to handle their own mistakes in a healthy way. Being honest with our kids and ourselves is how we go from grumbly to grateful.
1 John 1:19 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
4. Be Grateful for Small Changes
Praise your kids for every small step they take toward change. The more praise they receive, the more kids are encouraged. It’s amazing how well this works! I’ve seen it in my own kids; their eyes light up when they hear a kind word, and they can’t help but smile when I get excited about something they did.

5. Rejoice in Your Progress
Tell your husband or a cherished friend about the changes you are making. Ask that person to pray for you and to rejoice with you. Celebrate the progress, no matter how small!
6. Don’t Quit
Even as change comes, don’t be content with being “good enough.” I often pray Psalms 139:23-24. It reminds me not to stop with easy, outward fixes, but to continue on to the hard stuff, too.
Psalms 139:23-34 says, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
God knows our hearts best. He knows us the inner issues that are hurting us more than we realize, and He knows how these issues will impact our kids.
Allow God to reveal deep flaws that you might not even be aware of and turn to Him for healing.
The changes you make will forever impact your children. When you are healed, you’ll be able to offer true guidance to them. Don’t let your unwillingness to allow God to work negatively impact your children. God can help you to change, but it must start with you. You have to be humble enough to say, “Lord, I am willing.”
As you turn to God for help you make a change in yourself, you’ll be amazed how much your kids will change, too. Children do what we do, not what we say. When we do all we can for the glory of God, they’ll learn to do that, too!

The Grumble Free Year
In my book The Grumble-Free Year, I invite you into my family’s journey as we go complaint-free and discover what it looks like to develop hearts of gratitude. We share our plans, successes, failures, and all the lessons we learn along the way, offering real-life action steps based in scripture so that readers get not just a front-row seat to the action, but also an opportunity to take the challenge themselves and uncover hearts that are truly thankful. I hope it will be a blessing to you as you move towards a life of gratitude and thanksgiving. You can find it here!
Homeschool Success Course
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