Heart to Heart: Finding Common Ground with Your Adopted Teen
Homeschool
Audio By Carbonatix
Navigating the complex emotional terrain of adolescence with an adopted teen often feels like trying to embrace a shadow. You reach out with all the love and care in your heart, only to find the connection slipping through your fingers, elusive and intangible. This image captures the essence of what many parents, like my friend Kassie, experience in their journey to connect with their adopted teens. Despite the challenges, learning to love your adopted teen well can be a journey filled with moments of profound growth and deep understanding. Over time, the enduring power of love, understanding, and patience can forge bonds that grow beyond the initial obstacles.
The Heartaches of Parenting
My friend Kassie shared her journey with me, and many parents can relate to it. Kassie’s story isn’t just about the ups and downs of parenting; it’s a deep dive into the heart of what it means to connect with an adopted teen.
Kassie confided, “It feels like no matter how much I give, it’s never enough. Every gesture of love is met with a cold shoulder. I don’t just feel unappreciated. I’m invisible. Or worse, stomped on.” This feeling, as gut-wrenching as it is, illuminates the complexities of bonding with an adopted teen.
Adopted teens are navigating an ocean of emotions, and their behavior is often the tip of the iceberg. Here’s what might be lurking beneath the surface:
The Heart-Challenges of Adopted Teens
- The Hormone Rollercoaster: Teen years are a hormonal whirlwind. For adopted teens, these biological changes can amplify feelings of confusion and isolation.
- Belonging and Identity: Many adopted teens wrestle with their sense of place and purpose. This journey of self-discovery can sometimes make them seem distant or withdrawn.
- Fear of Rejection: The fear of being abandoned again can be a silent shadow for many adopted teens, leading them to push people away before they get too close.
- Attachment Hurdles: Issues like reactive attachment disorder can make it tough for adopted kids to form close bonds. It’s a hard road, requiring patience and understanding.
- Past Traumas: Traumatic experiences before adoption can leave scars that affect behavior and emotional well-being. Recognizing and respecting these triggers is key.
- The Bonding Dance: Connecting with an adopted teen is a delicate dance. It takes time, empathy, and sometimes a guide (like a therapist) to lead the way.
Walking Together
Kassie’s story reminded me that the path to connection is paved with persistence, love, and a lot of grace. Here are a few steps to help with your journey:
– Seek Support: A therapist familiar with adoption and attachment can offer a guiding light for both parents and teens.
– Learn and Grow: Understanding the unique experiences of adopted teens can open your heart to new ways of connecting.
– Patience is Your Friend: The road to a strong relationship may be long, but it’s worth every step. Keep showing up, even when it’s hard.
– Open Doors: Foster an environment where feelings can be shared freely, without fear of judgment. Let your teen know they’re heard and valued.
– Choose Positive Intent: Instead of focusing on the rejection, remember that your teen’s actions are more about their internal struggles than about you. This perspective shift can be a game-changer.
Connecting with an adopted teen isn’t a science; it’s more of an art. It’s about listening with your heart, responding with kindness, and reminding yourself that every challenge is also an opportunity to grow closer.
A Thought to Ponder
How can you create more moments of understanding and empathy in your journey with your adopted teen? Remember, every step forward, no matter how small, is progress.
Additional Resources
Calming Angry Kids
Calming Angry Kids: Help and Hope for Parents in the Whirlwind
Slammed doors. Hurting hearts. Tricia Goyer knows what it’s like to parent children with chronic anger. In Calming Angry Kids, Goyer draws on her own experience to help readers
- understand what’s going on in a child’s brain
- focus on relationship over rules
- teach a child how to handle frustrations without outbursts
- control how they express their own anger
- establish a standard of respect in the home
Including reflection questions and action steps at the end of each chapter, Calming Angry Kids shows weary parents that peace in their home is within reach.
The Grumble-Free Year
The Goyer home—made up of two parents, eight kids, and one grandmother with dementia—is never without noise, mess, and, often, complaining. And it’s not just the kids grumbling. Adopting seven children in less than six years was an adjustment, but it’s time to move out of survival-mode and into growth-mode. So the family decides to tackle the impossible: a grumble-free year. What could possibly go awry?
The Grumble-Free Year follows the Goyers as they go complaint-free and discover what it looks like to develop hearts of gratitude. They share their plans, successes, failures, and all the lessons learned along the way, offering not only a front-row seat to the action but also real-life steps for uncovering hearts that are truly thankful.
Get your copy here!
Homeschool Success Course
Are you feeling overwhelmed and uncertain about your homeschooling journey? Do you wish you had a roadmap to help you navigate the challenges and achieve success? Look no further than Tricia Goyer’s Homeschool Success video course! Tricia Goyer is a homeschooling expert with over 20 years of experience, and she has poured all of her knowledge and wisdom into this comprehensive course. In each video, Tricia shares practical tips and strategies for homeschooling, from choosing a curriculum to managing your time effectively.
With Homeschool Success, you’ll discover how to:
- Create a customized curriculum that meets your family’s unique needs
- Develop a daily routine that maximizes your time and energy
- Cultivate a love of learning in your children and inspire them to reach their full potential
- Foster a positive homeschooling environment that nurtures relationships and builds character
- Navigate the challenges of homeschooling with confidence and grace
Tricia’s warm and engaging teaching style will leave you feeling empowered and equipped to tackle any homeschooling challenge that comes your way. You’ll also receive a workbook with actionable steps and reflection questions to help you apply your learning to your homeschooling journey. Take advantage of this opportunity to learn from one of the most respected homeschooling experts in the industry. Enroll in Tricia Goyer’s Homeschool Success video course today and start your journey to homeschooling success!
Homeschool Success Course only $9 Purchase the course here.
-
Homeschool Success Course only $9 Purchase the course here.
