Teaching Kids Respect Through Everyday Moments

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Picture this: It’s early morning, and I’m sipping my coffee when the bickering starts. Before I know it, the peaceful morning is a distant memory, and I’m playing referee between my two youngest over who gets the last blueberry muffin. (And they’re not toddlers, either!) It’s moments like these—hair unbrushed, coffee barely touched—when the real tests of parenting hit. These are the times when love must do the heavy lifting, even if it means doling out a bit of discipline.

I remember a conversation with my friend Laura last week. We laughed and shared our parenting woes, but she said something that stuck with me: “Discipline in love is like gardening; you prune the rough edges not to hurt the plant but to let it flourish.” This image of careful, nurturing growth reminded me of a profound truth from the book of Jeremiah:

“I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me for their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good to them, and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me.” (Jeremiah 32:39-40)

I love this! God, our caring Father, put direction and correction in the lives of His people for their good, and so He could do good for them. These loving, nurturing acts are essential for growth.

Discipline, in its true essence, isn’t about punishment or control. Instead, it’s similar to the gardener’s task of pruning. A gardener trims a plant not out of frustration with the branches, but to encourage healthier, fuller growth. Likewise, when we discipline our children, we’re not merely aiming to stop undesirable behavior but to cultivate a framework within which they can grow stronger and more virtuous.

God’s promises to give His people “singleness of heart and action” and to “never stop doing good to them” highlight His role as the ultimate gardener of human souls. He shapes us, not through harshness but through His covenant of everlasting love and the consistent, good works He performs on our behalf. This divine action isn’t random; it’s purposeful, aiming to inspire awe and respect for His authority, ensuring we don’t stray from His path.

In the daily grind of parenting, it’s easy to lose sight of this larger purpose behind discipline. We might get caught up in the immediate goal of quieting a noisy room or smoothing over a sibling rivalry. However, these verses call us back to a broader perspective. They remind us that our disciplinary actions are not just about correcting behavior but instilling a deep, enduring respect and understanding of right and wrong. Just as God nurtures us with a firm yet loving hand, so must we guide our children, not out of impatience or desire for control, but from a place of deep love and hope for their righteousness and joy.

Let’s face it: the idea of discipline as an expression of love didn’t always make sense to me. I used to feel like the villain in my home, the ‘big bad’ laying down the law. But as I’ve embraced the wisdom in God’s words, I see discipline through a new lens. God’s approach is about setting boundaries and guiding with a steady hand, all rooted in unwavering love. It’s about ensuring our kids grow and thrive in spirit and character.

Here’s how my husband and I try to walk this talk:

1. Prompt Obedience:

“Let’s just do what we need to … and make it snappy, kids!” We encourage immediate compliance with a touch of humor to keep things light.

2. Consistent Consequences:

We’re not just talking the talk. If rules are broken, there are fair but firm consequences. And the rules don’t change depending on my mood. Consistency is the glue in the puzzle of parenting.

3. A United Front:

Even when we disagree, my husband and I stand together. “Divided we falter, united we flourish” is our parenting motto. With ten kids, we have to stay on the same page.

In sharing these snippets of our family life, I hope you see the blend of love and discipline not as opposing forces but as complementary threads woven into the fabric of parenting. It’s about guiding our little ones through a world of right and wrong, not with an iron fist, but with a heart full of love, hoping to see them blossom into individuals who not only know God’s love but live it daily.

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